Betrothal: Marriage Age

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Betrothal: Marriage Age

Various Factors. In the absence of records of births and marriages, it is difficult to ascertain the usual age of marriage in the early Middle Ages. Economic structure and social rank influenced when men and women would marry, as did values concerning education, procreation, honor, and modesty—all of which differed markedly according to social rank and geographic region. For example, Mediterranean attitudes about marriage were different from those of northern Europe.

Rural Marriage Ages. Some of the estate surveys from the ninth century suggest that among the rural peasantry the bride and groom were quite close in age. For example, the Saint Germain-des-Pres survey (circa 809-839) listed 86 widowers and 133 widows. If there had been a large age gap at marriage, there should have been a significantly greater number of widows than widowers in the community. The evidence of the Marseilles survey (813-814) suggests that both peasant men and women were waiting until they were in their late twenties to marry. Moreover, the community appears to have had few widows, suggesting women were not significantly younger than their husbands. Given the high population found on these family farms, it is not surprising that marriage was postponed to lessen the demands put onto a small plot of land.

Youthful Marriages. Among the aristocracy in the early Middle Ages there are occasional references that suggest girls might marry in their mid teens. The legal age for marriage set by canon law was twelve for girls and fourteen for boys. There is no shortage of examples of youths from the highest ranks of the aristocracy or royalty being married at such young ages. In the cities of Italy, the age at which girls married seems to have become progressively younger over this period. One fifteenth-century moralist criticized the young marriage age of his day—fifteen for girls—and looked back to the better days of the twelfth century, when girls were married at twenty-four or twenty-five. Yet, writing in the mid thirteenth century, Philippe de Navarre advised that boys be married at twenty and girls at fourteen. While most of the information on marriage ages in the upper ranks of society remains anecdotal, it suggests that girls often married between the ages of fourteen and eighteen.

Grooms’ Ages. Anecdotal evidence relating to marriage ages of men is problematic because men were more likely to marry again as widowers, and sources do not always note the fact that a marriage was the groom’s second. Furthermore, most descriptions of marriages do not mention the age of the groom, even when they note the bride’s age. While eleventh- and twelfth-century evidence suggests that those men who were slated to marry did so in their teens, the situation had changed by around 1200. At this time, men were postponing marriage or refusing to marry. There are many examples of men who did not marry until they were in their forties. Fourteenth-century commentators often said thirty was an appropriate marriage age for men.

Factors Influencing Marriage. Several social factors could also influence the age at which men and women married. A man in the feudal aristocracy might delay marriage until he had come into his title and estate at his father’s death. A younger son might wait until he had proved himself in war, which might lead to a grant of land or an opportunity to marry an heiress. If these chances did not arise, younger sons were doomed to live without the trappings of full adulthood: a wife, children, and one’s own household. The situation was quite different for aristocratic women. Because of the importance of the patri-lineage and the need for legitimate heirs, family honor came to be increasingly tied to the chastity of wives and the virginity of daughters. As a result, fathers tried to marry off their daughters as young as possible, before they were exposed to sexual temptation or had opportunities to compromise their virtue.

Elite Italian Marriage. Among the large urban elites of the Italian peninsula, young men of mercantile families underwent significant training, often spending time abroad in order to learn about the economic interests of the family in various parts of Europe and the Mediterranean. Moreover, these youths generally were not emancipated from their fathers’ control until they were thirty or thirty-five, at which time they tended to marry. For girls the situation was quite different and akin to that of their aristocratic sisters in northern Europe. Because of the increasing value placed on virginity, it was not unusual for girls as young as fifteen to marry men of thirty-five.

The “European Marriage Pattern.” In rural Europe, and among the urban artisans and laborers, the pattern of marriage ages differed again. These lower social ranks tended to follow the so-called European marriage pattern. According to this model, people usually delayed marriage until they were in their mid twenties, and a significant proportion of the population did not marry at all. In rural areas children tended to live at home until they married. Although there were no prohibitions against early marriage and the incorporation of a wife into the household of her father-in-law, marriage tended to be delayed for both men and women. Evidence suggests that although the married couple occasionally might be in their mid to late teens, it was more common for both men and women to be in their early twenties. In rural society this stage of life was the standard age of inheritance, but in cities the economic foundation necessary to start a new household was often such that neither men nor women could expect to inherit the means to marry. Consequently, both men and women tended to work prior to marriage. In this way, a man learned a craft or had the opportunity to save money, while a woman saved some of her earnings for her dowry and was able to bring household goods to the union. Thus, young people in urban areas, especially those working as servants or apprentices, tended to marry in their mid to late twenties. Women may have been two or three years younger than their husbands but, in general, there was not as significant an age difference as there was among the urban elites.