GRAY, John 1951-

PERSONAL: Born 1951 in Houston, TX; son of David (an oil executive) and Victoria (a bookstore owner) Gray; married Barbara De Angelis (an author; divorced, 1984); married Bonnie Josephson, 1985; children: (second marriage) Shannon, Julie, Lauren. Education: Maharishi International University, B.A., M.A.;

Columbia Pacific University, Ph.D., 1982. Religion: Transcendental Meditation.

ADDRESSES: Home—Mill Valley, CA. Agent—Patti Breitman, 12 Rally Ct., Fairfax, CA 94930.

CAREER: Psychotherapist and writer. American Board of Medical Psychotherapists, fellow and diplomate. Has worked as a school teacher.

MEMBER: International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors, American Board of Medical Psychotherapists and Psychodiagnosticians, American Counseling Association.

WRITINGS:

What You Feel, You Can Heal, Heart Publishing (Mill Valley, CA), 1984.

Men, Women, and Relationships: Making Peace with the Opposite Sex, Beyond Words (Hillsboro, OR), 1990.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 1992.

What Your Mother Didn't Tell You and What Your Father Didn't Know: Advanced Relationship Skills for Better Communication and Lasting Intimacy, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 1994.

Mars and Venus in the Bedroom: A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 1995.

Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Making Love Last, HarperPerennial (New York, NY), 1995.

Mars and Venus in Love: Inspiring and Heartfelt Stories of Relationships That Work, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 1996.

Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the Five Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 1997.

Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again after a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 1998.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Book of Days: 365 Inspirations to Enrich Your Relationships, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 1998.

How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have: A Practical and Spiritual Guide to Personal Success, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 1999.

Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 1999.

Practical Miracles for Mars and Venus: Nine Principles for Lasting Love, Increasing Success, and Vibrant Health in the Twenty-first Century, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 2000.

Mars and Venus in the Workplace: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting Results at Work, HarperCollins (New York, NY), 2002.

Consulting editor of The Family Journal.

ADAPTATIONS: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus was adapted into a board game by Mattel, 1998, and was adapted into a stage show in Las Vegas; many Mars and Venus titles have been adapted into audio books.

SIDELIGHTS: John Gray is the author of Men, Women, and Relationships: Making Peace with the Opposite Sex as well as the bestselling Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Your Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships, books that both promote greater understanding and communication between the sexes. Gray is also a popular leader of seminars, a speaker who "rivets his audience with his splashy verbal theatrics—including tears, lots of humor, a good bit of insight, personal anecdotes and his obvious eagerness to please," as Karen S. Peterson commented in the Detroit News.

Gray is a former school teacher who worked for nine years with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. As reported by Bruce Weber in the New York Times, Gray, in addition to his books, has produced videotapes, organized annual weekend seminars, operated counseling centers, maintained Web sites, and launched a nationally syndicated talk show in 2000. Weber noted that he "has created an almost Disneylike multimedia empire," also pointing out that Gray's interest in psychology—he holds a doctorate from Columbia Pacific University in San Rafael, California—was sparked by his concern for his brother, a schizophrenic.

In Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Gray considers "marital and relationship problems in terms of distinct and pervasive gender differences," according to a reviewer for Publishers Weekly. Gray writes in his introduction to the book that "so many people are frustrated in their relationships. They love their partners, but when there is tension they do not know what to do to make things better….Not only domen and women communicate differently but they think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need, and appreciate differently. They almost seem to be from different planets, speaking different languages and needing different nourishment." In the Detroit News Peterson quoted the author at one of his seminars when he was delineating a particular discrepancy between the sexes: "Men stop talking to figure out what they are going to say," but Gray then observed that women "discover solutions—even what they want to talk about—by talking. They need sharing, closeness, intimacy to feel good again." Demetria A. Harvin, writing in Library Journal, noted that Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus "is a very helpful source for couples trying to keep love alive." Gray's What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know and Mars and Venus in the Bedroom: A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion extend his pull-quote-laden brand of practical philosophy and commonsense counseling.

Gray's 2002 addition to the Mars-Venus books responds to male-female relationships in the workplace. Mars and Venus in the Workplace: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting Results at Work focuses on many of the same principles found in the other books. However, as a reviewer from Publishers Weekly implied, the gender stereotyping has grown tired. Perhaps Gray should have "said that some people are Venusians while others are Martians," remarked a reviewer for Publishers Weekly. Similarly, in response to Gray's Practical Miracles for Mars and Venus, Esquire reviewer Daniel Mendelsohn found Gray's ideas "unabashedly banal and regressive." Mendelsohn argued that Gray only scratches the surface in male-female relationships, concluding that "little of [the material] is earthshaking." Nevertheless, the simple tips for conflict resolution are practical, according to some reviewers, and may help prevent "common misunderstandings and reduc[e] friction between the sexes," asserted Kathleen Hughes in Booklist.

BIOGRAPHICAL AND CRITICAL SOURCES:

books

Gray, John, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships, HarperCollins, 1992.

periodicals

Atlanta Journal-Constitution, January 30, 2002, Joshua B. Good, "Bringing Mars, Venus into the Office/Relationship Guru Targets Workplace," p. E9.

Booklist, March 15, 1995, p. 1282; January 1, 2002, Kathleen Hughes, review of Mars and Venus in the Workplace: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting Results at Work, p. 774.

Denver Business Journal, January 18, 2002, Bob Mook, "In Search of Intelligent Life on Mars and Venus," p. A21.

Detroit News, May 4, 1994, p. 3C.

Esquire, November, 2000, Daniel Mendelsohn, "Me Boy, You Girl," p.88.

Journal of Popular Culture, summer, 2001, Bridget Roussell Cowlishaw, "Subjects Are from Mars, Objects Are from Venus: Construction of the Self in Self-help," p. 169.

Kirkus Reviews, October 1, 1994, p. 1351.

Library Journal, May 15, 1992, pp. 106-107.

New York Times, January 27, 1997, p. B6.

People, May 30, 1994, p. 57.

Publishers Weekly, April 27, 1992, p. 246; October 3, 1994, p. 62; October 24, 1994, p. 11; March 20, 1995, p. 52; January 28, 2002, review of Mars and Venus in the Workplace, p. 281.

Redbook, June, 1999, "Daddy Is from Mars, Mommy Is from Venus," p. 62.

St. Louis Post-Dispatch, August 20, 2000, John M. McGuire, "Water and Healing Are the Latest Passions of Mars-Venus Guru," p. E1.

Southern Communication Journal, winter, 20002, Julia T. Wood, "A Critical Response to John Gray's Mars and Venus Portrayals of Men and Women,"p. 210.

TV Guide, September 6, 1997, pp. 10-11.

Washington Business Journal, January 25, 2002, review of Mars and Venus in the Workplace, p. 42.

Women and Language, fall, 2000, Valerie Peterson, "Mars and Venus: The Rhetoric of Sexual Planetary Alignment," p. 1.*